Tina Fey

I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will. That’s life on Planet Earth. And I’m okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there?

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected to a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open. The crowd cheers.

Left to my own devices, I dress like I’m here to service your aquarium.

A coworker at SNL dropped an angry c-bomb on me and i had the weirdest reaction. To my surprise, I blurted, ‘No. You don’t get to call me that. My parents love me. I’m not some Adult Child of an Alcoholic that’s going to take that shit.’

I’ve just got to get that album out. I have to get it out, if it’s the last thing I do.

But I love to entertain. My vocation is to accrue all these experiences, to write about them, to get them out of my system, to not get sick, and then to share them publicly.

You can sometimes get your own feelings across more strongly if you pretend that you’re singing it from someone else’s angle. But it’s always from me. It’s just a new way of framing it.

I look at an audience kind of like meeting my in-laws for the first time. You want to be yourself, but you still want to be somebody that they like. When I go onstage each night, I try my best to outguess my audience, and I like to feel in most cases like I’m a big guy with long rubber arms that I can reach around my audience and swing and sway with them – move them with me. And many nights, I can’t. Many nights I can. But you do like a good manager with a baseball team. You keep pulling pitchers, you keep trying.

I’m not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy.

Being good is about being an all-round contributor in the great world of music.

I’ve gotten to a point with fashion where I just don’t care. I wear and I do what I want because I like it, because I am confident in it, because it makes me feel good. That’s the only way you can do it.

I see myself more as a character actress than a celebrity!

I am now determined to do really weird parts but I think I overdo it in auditions so nobody really trusts me!

You don’t worry about being liked. You have to be yourself.

I’ve changed so much. I’m not nearly as cocky as I was, I was a real prat for the first month. I didn’t talk to anyone. I just drank coffee and told everyone I was 24 and this famous theatre actor just back from South Africa.

I am a big Jeff Richmond fan.

My younger sister and I had the same modeling agency.

I haven’t had an interview in two years where I wasn’t asked about Bond!

As a 29-year-old, the only thing that I can possibly think is that if I’m still performing at 50, it’s because I’ll have had disastrous marriages and I have to pay for them.