Fats Waller

I love you, yes I do, I love you. If you break my heart I’ll die. So be sure it’s true when you say I love you It’s a sin to tell a lie.

Take it easy, be a sport. Just remeber life is short.

You get that right tickin’ rhythm, man and its ON!

This is so nice, it must be illegal.

Be sure it’s true when you say I love you. It’s a sin to tell a lie. Millions of heart have been broken. Just because these words were spoken.

This heart of mine could never see what everybody knew but me

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way.

There’s something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the right spot in their day.

When I go to see Iron Man 3, I’m not as enthralled as I was when I saw The Bridge on the River Kwai.

There are positive things that come of social media as well as negative.

I really like comedy that brings people together. There’s a lot of comedies lately that have been at people’s expense or been kind of acidic or mean-spirited. And some folks like that, and I think there’s room for that, but that’s not my style. I like something that makes us all feel closer. Comedy, at its best, can be healing.

Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger did a really bad job as Governor of California and even worse on the Apprentice…but at least he tried hard!

Well I had my kids so young that I kind of feel that I’m a kid too and am growing up with them. The things they’re interested in tend to really influence me.

So many people try to grow up too fast, and it’s not fun! You should stay a kid as long as possible!

I hate that the paparazzi agencies get all of the fan accounts shut down! Ugh we have to think of something! Maybe start our own agency? And let all of the fans post whatever tf they want!!!!!

I take conscious breaks for myself ’cause I like to rejuvenate and get my creative juices flowing. I also like to take my time with my creativity; I think it’s important.

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live tv.

[on animals] When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: ‘Good, you shouldn’t be in there’. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It’s the same with fox hunting. They’re just psychopaths. I think I’ll end up doing something with animals – running a sanctuary or something.

In my experience, there was never anything quite like the egos in CSNY.

I just asked her to support me in this one thing. It’s not a big lie. She should have understood that I was just trying to sell the song to America’s premier songstress.

(On his feud with rapper Ja Rule) Right now he’s desperate. He should be talking about me, not Eminem and (Dr. Dre) and everybody else. He’ll lose, he knows that. The route that he has to take is the “I’m a mad gangsta” hardcore route, and ain’t nobody gonna believe him.