Fats Waller

Take it easy, be a sport. Just remeber life is short.

You get that right tickin’ rhythm, man and its ON!

Be sure it’s true when you say I love you. It’s a sin to tell a lie. Millions of heart have been broken. Just because these words were spoken.

This heart of mine could never see what everybody knew but me

A little bit independent in your walk. A little bit independent in your talk. There’s nothing like you in Paris or New York. You’re awfully easy on the eyes.

No one to talk with, all by myself. No one to walk with, but I’m happy on the shelf.

The rain can’t stop the vibes that are going to be created TODAY!!!

Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big. For the 100th time, I never mockeda disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him grovellingwhen he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. Just more very dishonest media!

Lowest rated Oscars in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Stars anymore – except your President (just kidding, of course)!

Music is split up now into little pockets.

I’ve still got a twinkle in me.

I want to play tennis and fornicate.

[on the NSA surveillance program] Mr. President, when Michele Bachmann is in your side you may want to look at the side you are on. She is the canary in the crazy mine. I myself wear a bracelet that says: ‘What wouldn’t Michele Bachmann do?’

I think it’s a responsibility, but like Tupac Shakur, I’m a real model. Which means: I’m not pretending to be something that I’m not, because like he said, people are going to be disappointed when they find out who you are, because it’s not going to be what you presented to the world. So just keep it real. I’m a good kid and that’s all.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

It would be great to see somebody like Kid Rock kissing a man. But I’m sure that he wouldn’t like the prospect of it put to him, and I won’t even go there with Eminem.

I must say, as a point of pride, that I didn’t get the job because I was a woman. I got the job because Amy Poehler moved to New York with the Upright Citizens Brigade and I was the next best thing.

I try to keep my ego at the right size. No matter what, I just do my best to live in an attitude of gratitude.

I’m keeping the pixie. I hope I inspire people… it’s really cool to have short hair.

It’s always great to make a film about people that don’t get along, because you inevitably wind up getting along so well.

Last year in L.A. county 150 out of 151 incumbents ran unopposed. And come on. They could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate. Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wing. Or – I’ll tell you what – you’re in L.A. Just pretend you’re considering Blake Lively for the job. Movie studios do that all the time.