Robin Williams

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

Cocaine is God’s way of saying that you’re making too much money.

God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at once.

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.

Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

If there’s anything that I can do with my time and my day to somehow make a difference, while I’m alive, imma try to do it. Period.

I love being sexy; I’m never gonna stop being an exhibitionist

Oh, nerds!

What I recall for the first two years is my daughter not really knowing who I was and getting rather agitated when I came back off tour, as she thought I’d come to rob the house.

I love Sell Out, I think it’s great. I love the jingles. The whole thing as an album is a wonderful piece of work. The cover. Everything about it. It’s got humor, great songs, irony.

There’s probably not a crew chief out there who hasn’t tried something that seemed like a good idea.

[On his early day in the music business] I stepped on a lot of toes… at that time.

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.

[on Ryan Phillippe] I’m lucky to find a person to share my life, and the best friend I’ll ever have.

What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.

Down the road, I’ll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor.

No person who does not reside in Canada shall induce electors to vote for or refrain from voting for a particular candidate. And apparently anyone found guilty of doing that could be fined up to $5,000, given a six-month jail term, or both. That is a ridiculous law and I guess what you’re saying, Canada, is do you wanna dance?.

As we’ve seen, Trump is a masterful denier of both reality and responsibility. He’s a man who would kick you in the nuts and then tell you that your penis did it.

To me YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

I’m just glad to be feeling better. I really thought I’d be seeing Elvis soon.