John Oliver

Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can’t even commit to being uncommitted.

British politics, when done well, can be very fun. John Oliver

While some are arguing that Trump might not have meant all those things, that leaves us with two devastating options: either we just elected a President who didn’t mean a single word he said, or we elected one who did.

Yes, it’s that special time of year where we voluntarily imbibe pumpkin spice lattes, the coffee that tastes like a candle.

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport. Thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

The crime rates among immigrants once [in the United States] are in relatively tiny digits, which is something Donald Trump should frankly understand given that he has ten of them attached to his miniscule wrists.

I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted.

The interesting thing about my character ‘Sylar’ is that my strengths as an actor seemed to go completely against the shape of a character in the shadows. I stepped into this character and then realized how much there was to play with.

A man becomes as attractive as an attractive woman when he becomes successful and is publicly noted. Power’s an aphrodisiac.

While making Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, I had like 50 outfit changes. It was great! I’m real into the whole “girlie” thing, it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it.

I’m a Leo with something odd rising.

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual with the successful one is a lot of hard work.

But contrary to what some people seem to think, I was never a bully. I was just a hard man.

I prayed to God for peace and love, I’m looking at you as a blessing. You told me life been looking up so take that past shit as a lesson.

Before you talk to people in music or entertainment or video games, or even gun control, you need to talk to psychiatrists.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

I just LOVE lip gloss! It doesn’t matter if it’s $2 or $30.

I’ll be a nun, raise my daughter, and make albums.

I like work. If it’s not hard enough, I try to make it harder. I like the process of being daunted by it, tackling it, and knowing I can do it.

Most of the time, people will just pass me by, or if they do realize, they’ll say something like, “My girlfriend said that was you, but I didn’t believe her.”

Come on now! How could you be me and want to be someone else?