Tina Fey

When it’s not your gig, you’re like, ‘I’m just gonna go to bed!’

[on Matthew McConaughey] He was always taking his shirt off, he’s like Yeah, here’s my deal, I’m hot.” We had a meeting one day at like 11 o’clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong… He doesn’t smell great, no.

I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, ‘I’ll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.’

I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f-ck her anymore. The only person I can think of that has escaped the ‘crazy’ moniker is Betty White, which, obviously, is because people still want to have sex with her.

The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they’re doing well, you don’t really need to be in control all the time.

I would say that one of your greatest accomplishments, Amy Poehler, is that you have so successfully used your art and comedy as a source of positivity in the world, by creating Smart Girls [an online community for girls, encouraging them to be their authentic selves], by making [Leslie in] Parks and Rec not only a positive feminist character but creating a good-hearted worldview within that program.

I definitely felt like I needed a break, because when you do so much, you’re not able to appreciate the things that you accomplish.

My little sister Stella partly looks up to me. She depends on me and I always try to set a good example for her.

I’m more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I’m mostly an improviser, though I haven’t improvised in awhile.

As you get older, your fingers sometimes swell. But I’ve missed 18 days in 65 years. Sometimes guys will just take off; I’ve never done that. If I’m booked to play, I go and play.

You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone.

[on sleeping with Trump] I’m very food-motivated. That’s why I stayed and held out for so long because I was told there would be snacks. I was starving! Maybe that’s part of why I was easy prey because I was light-headed.

Los Angeles makes you feel ugly. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t secretly wanted to be super-skinny, because all girls do.But I have a woman’s body, not a boy’s body. Most women do and should feel proud of their butts and their breasts and their bellies.’

They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy.

I think the most embarrassing part of that was just the normal dancing. When the rock band comes. I think there was two days where the crew was like, “Just dance, just dance.”. So, you can’t, in a club or whatever…That was really awkward.

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.

(on his feuds with many of his fellow rappers) If they keep comin’ at me, I’ll just keep responding back until they don’t exist anymore. I got the time and energy to ruin what is left of their careers, if they want to do that.

No matter what we say, entertainers are usually quite insecure, wobbly characters underneath, and maybe that bit of glory or that bit of expression or whatever it is compensates in some area.

They put all this money into these huge movies, and then no one goes to see them… That sort of shows that they’re out of touch. Then, everyone in town passes on my little movie, and it does really well.

I think social media has given everyone a voice. Social media makes everyone a celebrity on some level. I think that diminishes the power of an artist who bases their trade on their talent, that’s one of the downfalls. But the good thing is that you can connect with your fans all the time.

I couldn’t have asked for a better target than Trump