Tina Fey

When choosing sexual partners, remember: talent is not sexually transmittable.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

You must not look into that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet. For today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.

I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

I do not believe that we have a right to tell other people, women, that they can’t control their bodies.

My first instinct is great pride for all of us as women who are finding our voices.

You can’t whisper magical thoughts in your daughter’s ear and go into a workplace where you tolerate [this] existence. If you are tolerating that, that’s the workplace that will be waiting for your little girl, and you have sold her a bill of goods.

The woman who doesn’t require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.

Sometimes, I want some damn makeup, and I’m going to wear it! Guess what — if I want to wear red lipstick and put eyelashes on, I can do whatever I f**king want. I am the creator of my own destiny,

I’m definitely a feminist. I’m f*cking disgusted by the way women are still treated.

We are a gorgeous, infinite circle of women all shades, all styles, in all the ways we were made. Inside of us everything blooms.

No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.

Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.

I have a little sister and I’m constantly annoyed [by] how terribly written most females are in most everything – and especially in comedy. Their anatomy seems to be the only defining aspect of their character, and I just find that untruthful and it straight up offends me.

Being a strong woman is very important to me. But doing it all on my own is not.

We won’t unlock opportunities for young women and girls unless we can change the mindset of every family and community. To achieve this, it cannot just be women who speak up for girls.

Only a woman can breathe under the water of life defying gravity and staying zen while doing it.

Today, be the basass girl you were too lazy to be yesterday.

[My father] always reminded us that it was important to stand up for your rights, and regardless of who you are and where you come from, to hold your head up high with dignity and respect.