Tina Fey

The only reward for anything is food.

[on Matthew McConaughey] He was always taking his shirt off, he’s like Yeah, here’s my deal, I’m hot.” We had a meeting one day at like 11 o’clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong… He doesn’t smell great, no.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

The woman who did the costumes tried to put me in these Waspy clothes, and it just didn’t work. I feel like ethnicity and fashion go together. So, yeah, knockers up and tight skirts. Somehow it’s better.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

Lipgloss is my calling!

My father’s name is Vernon, and my mother liked the initials double V, so she named my sisters Victoria and Valerie. That’s cool- except when the dogs start getting V names.

Sometimes we have criticism that is very constructive.

I’ve deliberately tried to calm myself down because eventually I want to be a good role model to my kids.

No, I was two years older than the other guys. I was a war baby. My family were a lot poorer than they were. I’d had to fight too hard for anything I had in my life and to smash things up for me.

I’m just a regular girl. Some days I’m super strong; some days I’m super insecure. I just speak my truth and if people like it, they like it, and if they bash it, they bash it.

I think the world has too many actresses.

[To Jimmy Webb] You’re really interested in a career? Wow, I just thought you were some guy who hung out in Las Vegas with Connie Stevens.

[on her mom] She always knows what to do to cheer me up. Whenever I feel down, my mom will take me shopping or out to lunch. she’s 100% there for me, and always has been. My family keeps me going no metter what.

City Action. Al is a true Damon Runyon character

Every person has a signature. Just some people don’t know it yet.

I was wearing my best gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians. So yea, I was pretty cool.

I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I feel intimidated by Victoria’s Secret. Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it’s like running a race toward nothing. There’s no winning. You’re never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be.

It’s nice having famous people love you.