Tina Fey

We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy-and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I’m with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That’s basically how we’re doing it.

To me YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’

Most of the time, people will just pass me by, or if they do realize, they’ll say something like, “My girlfriend said that was you, but I didn’t believe her.”

People think clowns – I wasn’t a clown. I would run parties. I basically ran around for two hours and ate massive piles of Haribo.

[On how she handles people who disagree with her] I’ve learned the art of ignoring people. When people give you some piece of direction you don’t like, you just nod and ignore it. Just don’t do it! Most people want to be heard and acknowledged, anyway. Just do what you want to do.

When people apologize to me sincerely, I accept it. It’s really never too late to right your wrongs.

Man, I have had so much plastic surgery, I don’t even recognize myself, sometimes. If I catch a glimpse in a window or something, I think it is someone else.

I think I appear very innocent and soft, but I’m actually very dark and edgy. It’s a weird dichotomy.

At some point, I would like to write a book and other things, but I work best when there is some sort of deadline in my own mind, but not when fifty people or fifty million people are breathing down the back of my neck.

I’d like to win an Oscar.

The past is a stepping stone, not a millstone.

I thought Laura’s record was going to be huge… It was not successful it sold something like 20 or 30,000 albums. Laura lacked a certain level of ambition and didn’t really want to do the things that people do to become known. So I thought I’d better get people to record these songs and make them hits so that people will see that she’s a great songwriter.

[on her nude picture scandal] I’m much better now. But truthfully I don’t like talking about it. It was something that was meant to be private, and even though it isn’t anymore, I’d still like to keep it as private as I can. It was very traumatic, and I am extremely upset it happened. I hope all my fans can learn from my mistake and make smart decisions. But I wouldn’t have been able to get through it if it wasn’t for my family, friends, and fans, who supported me all along the way.

I grew up watching fantastic mainstream comedies like ‘Porridge’ and ‘Rising Damp’. There are some mainstream things I love.

I love the ’80s. I’m obsessed with it. I love the hair and the people.

I was making guitars and I was a sheet metal worker and if you ever see sheet metal workers’ hands, you’ve never seen so many cuts in your life.