Tina Fey

You must not look into that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet. For today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

Yeah, I do also think that by the time you are in your forties, what you want to wear and what you think is sexy is not always, like, for another person. It’s what makes you feel good…. Sexy is all relative.

I really wasn’t heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school.

I have no enabler bone in my body – not one. I’m sort of like, ‘Oh, are you going crazy? I’ll be back in an hour.’

I think everyone’s intentions are to become a performer at first. But by the time I was in high school and college, I discovered that I liked writing and that I was probably a little better at it.

Ninety-five percent of my audience was white.

Lately, I’m spending more and more time working with non-rock musicians and leaving the mainstream – almost dissolving into another world, musically.

I don’t try to just be a blues singer – I try to be an entertainer. That has kept me going.

If I could trade places with anyone in the world it would be with someone who has lots of power like George Bush.

When I started on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards.

I get more people approaching me about how good I was in ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ than being in Coldplay.

So many people try to grow up too fast, and it’s not fun! You should stay a kid as long as possible!

It’s crazy because, you know, my parents always want me to watch old films to make me realize how amazing some of the older actors are. And I was obsessed as soon as I watched ‘Stand by Me.

There is no diet for a big ego.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names.

I’ve always wanted to be a stand-up comic on some levels as well and I know I can play and sing but when people see me and say, “I didn’t know you were so funny… You’re like a real entertainer,” that’s what I like more than all the other accolades.

So I’m you, I’m us, it’s us. It went from Kanye, which means the only one, to just Ye – just being a reflection of our good, our bad, our confused, everything. The album is more of a reflection of who we are.

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

My dream job is being a pianist.