Mark Twain

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one’s clothes.

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions – he had money, too.

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.

There are few ways in which a man can be more innocently employed than in getting money.

Carpe per diem – seize the check.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

A fool and her money are soon courted.

I make no claim to being a business genius. You can make so much money in this business that it loses its value.

Don’t depend on anyone but yourself for providing financial security.

I rob banks because that’s where the money is.

Hobbies cost money but interests are free

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten

Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.

Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.