Will Rogers

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.

I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways.

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

I would not give half a guinea to live under one form of government rather than another. It is of no moment to the happiness of an individual.

Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.

He was at a starting point which makes many a man’s career a fine subject for betting, if there were any gentlemen given to that amusement who could appreciate the complicated probabilities of an arduous purpose, with all the possible thwartings and furtherings of circumstance, all the niceties of inward balance, by which a man swings and makes his point or else is carried headlong.

So many fail because they don’t get started – they don’t go. They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.

There is no chance, and no anarchy, in the universe. All is system and gradation. Every god is there sitting in his sphere.

Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.

No man was ever great by imitation.

Sir, he was dull in company, dull in his closet, dull everywhere. He was dull in a new way, and that made many people think him great.

Disease generally begins that equality which death completes.

One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!

No matter how often you are defeated, you are born to victory.

What is so great as friendship, let us carry with what grandeur of spirit we can. Let us be silent, — so we may hear the whisper of the gods. Let us not interfere. Who set you to cast about what you should say to the select souls, or how to say any thing to such? No matter how ingenious, no matter how graceful and bland. There are innumerable degrees of folly and wisdom, and for you to say aught is to be frivolous. Wait, and thy heart shall speak. Wait until the necessary and everlasting overpowers you, until day and night avail themselves of your lips. The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.

There is a tendency for things to right themselves.