Tina Fey

I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

I have Faith Popcorn on retainer. I’m sorry-what I meant to say is that I have popcorn stuck in my retainer.

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.

I didn’t get on TV until I was 30, which is really fortunate because you are who you are at that point.

I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.

I think I’m prone to panic.

I’m a chocolate addict!

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

Cats know, comin’ out of four, they better be standin’ on it, else they’ll be standin’ in it.

There’s something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the right spot in their day.

It’s been quite a journey. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

[on motherhood] I feel good, I’m proud of Election (1999) and very proud of this (her child). It couldn’t be a better time. It’s always the right time when it happens. You make it the right time.

[on British Red Cross album to assist and create awareness of Refugee Crisis] The position we are in, it’s paramount we all do our best one way or another to help.

If Kyle had ever been dedicated to nothing but driving, he’d have been really, really good. But he wanted to do a lot of other things. He’s always been that way. Still is.

I couldn’t have asked for a better target than Trump

It would be great to see somebody like Kid Rock kissing a man. But I’m sure that he wouldn’t like the prospect of it put to him, and I won’t even go there with Eminem.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

I’m starting to know how the world works a bit, and I’m learning more and more that the only thing that matters is what happens between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. I’m allowing myself to be a bit more selfish, for want of a better word, just that it’s OK to focus and that I don’t have to be nice to everybody.

[about political pundits suggesting Trump be given a chance to be president] Now, in the broadest sense, I get that impulse: hope for the best in the face of very long odds. It’s like we’re on a plane and we just found out our pilot is a wombat.

No one leaves voicemails anymore they just text now so it’s a different time.