Tina Fey

If I have to listen to one more grey faced man with a $2 hair cut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.

Most of the time you’re too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, ‘I work at ‘Saturday Night Live ‘ and that is so cool.

I think I’m brave about some things and a huge coward in other ways. My fake bravery is talking in front of a bunch of people who might hate it.

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I’m on my game.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

Even when I was at ‘SNL,’ I didn’t do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them – I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show – but I didn’t have any experience.

This Velvet Mafia thing is just another homophobic, nasty kind of thing that jealous queens make up.

I’ve been offered a part in Alias and I’m going to do it. I love Alias, it’s great and JJ Abrams is writing me a part especially. It’s just whether I can do it or not – it’s got to be the right time, the right project, it’s got to be fun, it’s got to be worth it and it mustn’t be bad for my career. Most people go ‘it’ll do, it’s work and it’ll make me a bit more famous’ or ‘the money’s good’ but I just think I’ve never regretted saying no. But a lot of people have regretted saying yes.

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

I don’t have any illusions anymore. The illusion that rock ‘n’ roll could change anything – I don’t believe that. I’ve changed. Who would have ever thought that I’d end up saying that I want to be an all-around entertainer? But that’s what I want to be.

I don’t really see the point in washing your hair. If you don’t care if your hair’s clean or not then why would you wash it?

Well, my sort of stability as a character, it’s never been one of my strongest attributes. I’m a bit of a clusterf*ck. I get so many great ideas that I kind of mesmerize people with another plan before the previous plan is hatched out; people run away, pull their hair off, go off in different directions, nodding their heads, and going, “Oh, god”.

[on her nude picture scandal] I’m much better now. But truthfully I don’t like talking about it. It was something that was meant to be private, and even though it isn’t anymore, I’d still like to keep it as private as I can. It was very traumatic, and I am extremely upset it happened. I hope all my fans can learn from my mistake and make smart decisions. But I wouldn’t have been able to get through it if it wasn’t for my family, friends, and fans, who supported me all along the way.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really worked toward balancing my life out more, having a little bit more time with friends, family and my boyfriend. There was a period of time when they were way down the list. It was all about music and touring and if everything fell by the wayside, so be it.

If you were to really look at it, the boys are still getting more money for a lot of garbage, while the ladies are hustling and doing amazing work for less.

It’s strange, somebody asked for my autograph the other day. Because I finished school and I’m not really doing anything at the moment, I was just kind of aimlessly wandering around London and these two guys who were about 30 came up and asked for my autograph. I was really quite proud at the time, and they wanted to take photos and stuff. And then they were sort of wandering around and I was kind of wandering around and I bumped into them about three times, and every single time their respect for me kept growing and growing and growing.

The suit-and-tie job is very nice, but it’s not really who I am in my heart.

I’ve seen the photos of me and Flo Rida. It doesn’t matter how we met. We met. I don’t want to say that we’re a couple. I can definitely say that he’s somebody in my life, and I’m definitely interested but I’m not serious with anybody.

[on her role in “Star Wars: Episode II”] That was easy, I just stood by Natalie Portman looking very serious.

I feel like I’m always having to justify why I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from the old days in Stoke-on-Trent, but I’m like that with anybody. I don’t let anybody in. I just rely on myself.