Tina Fey

Even when I was at ‘SNL,’ I didn’t do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them – I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show – but I didn’t have any experience.

Know what? Bitches get shit done.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.

If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.

[on Matthew McConaughey] He was always taking his shirt off, he’s like Yeah, here’s my deal, I’m hot.” We had a meeting one day at like 11 o’clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong… He doesn’t smell great, no.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

I’m just glad to be feeling better. I really thought I’d be seeing Elvis soon.

I’ve been watching what I eat. When I was putting on all the weight, I was drinking Guinness and not eating. I didn’t have room to because I was drinking all the time.

I feel like it’s harder to get women to show up for movies.

Anthony Weiner’s alter ego is a Bolivian action hero slash porn star. ‘Danger… is my user name.’

[On struggling to be taken seriously in the industry] Even now, people want to marginalize me. They want to attribute all my success to teenagers seeing my movies. I really resent it when people say, “It’s just a genre film; it’s a teen comedy.” It takes a lot of work to make these things have heart and resonance so they’re not just empty, disposable confections. But I don’t give a damn about other people’s perceptions, because I’ll show them. For women in this business, ascendancy is always a battle. It’s scrape and claw. I just try to stick to my guns and respect myself. I want to take the ingenues aside and say, “Value yourself! It’s O.K. if you have opinions!

I’m blessed with a lot of energy and stamina. I can’t stand sitting still. I went to a spa once with my mom and I was like, “Get me out of here!'”

I’m a bit of a slag… Some people don’t think it’s very nice, but I don’t care… I’ve got hormones, and sex is there, so why not? Sex is good. Everybody does it, and everybody should!

I’m keeping the pixie. I hope I inspire people… it’s really cool to have short hair.

I feel like there’s a race being run in Los Angeles for some unattainable goal – to be the best, the skinniest, the most beautiful. I just admit that that’s what I’ll never be.

I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don’t have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something.

In Los Angeles, they don’t want you to fail, they want you to die.

If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it’s good to be married to someone who’s not impressed with that at all.

I don’t take gifts from perfect strangers-but then, nobody is perfect.

Once you get rid of the idea that you must please other people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow your own instincts – only then can you be successful. You become more satisfied, and when you are, other people will tend to be satisfied by what you do.

I come from the tradition of a big Irish family that loves to sing. I love to perform.