Tina Fey

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live tv.

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.

Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.

[on sleeping with Trump] I’m very food-motivated. That’s why I stayed and held out for so long because I was told there would be snacks. I was starving! Maybe that’s part of why I was easy prey because I was light-headed.

The thing is, we’re not extravagant people. It’s just unbelievable the amounts of money we make. But we don’t spend it. It’s too scary to spend it.

Yes, it’s that special time of year where we voluntarily imbibe pumpkin spice lattes, the coffee that tastes like a candle.

I’ve never done work for money, ever. If your choices are based on grosses and the film doesn’t do well, what does that mean? It leaves you with nothing.

Inside me there is a fat man dying to get out.

Amy Poehler made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives or girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not f**king care if you like it.

It’s nice having famous people love you.

Confidence is everything in this business.

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.

But I have to be careful not to let the world dazzle me so much that I forget that I’m a husband and a father.

I am extremely square and obedient in nature!

[on Anthony Weiner] I remember him now… the man whose name is so perfect for the scandal he was caught up in that it rekindled my faith in God.

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying ‘I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.’ The other is ‘You want fries with that?’

I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don’t have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something.

A lot of people can’t stand touring but to me it’s like breathing. I do it because I’m driven to do it.