Robin Williams

Carpe per diem – seize the check.

Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(While accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting) Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

I love being sexy; I’m never gonna stop being an exhibitionist

I have my moments – usually twice every album – when I basically lose it.

No, I’ve never thought that I was gay. And that’s not something you think. It’s something you know.

I used to be better looking than this.

My favorite day at ’30 Rock’ is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh – it’s great fun.

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.

I hope im not that close to my character, I hate him, I used to hate everbody like Cedric in my school.

Growing up is not being so dead-set on making everybody happy.

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise. Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised.

I would say that one of your greatest accomplishments, Amy Poehler, is that you have so successfully used your art and comedy as a source of positivity in the world, by creating Smart Girls [an online community for girls, encouraging them to be their authentic selves], by making [Leslie in] Parks and Rec not only a positive feminist character but creating a good-hearted worldview within that program.

I’d rather be called King than other things I’ve been called.

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language’s most offensive C-word.

I didn’t think my career would last this long, and it’s still going.

[on Brad Pitt] I don’t know… I guess…. he’s a nice person and a GOOD kisser!