Robin Williams

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I’ve ever eaten. It’s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Being a sex symbol was rather like being a convict.

I am working on a dress sock line of funky, colorful, cool designs.

What was the competition? Well, I remember this Puerto Rican who came out in a short skirt and a gun.

I think the world has too many actresses.

If you have paparazzi, you know you’ve gotten somewhere.

This is so nice, it must be illegal.

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

There are positive things that come of social media as well as negative.

There are so many different definitions of ‘pretty.’ it’s so much broader than before. The old pretty is boring- nobody cares anymore.

Since I started acting it’s kind of been a bit mad. I never really did anything before and two years ago I started acting and I’ve kind of been in work ever since. Then Harry Potter came along and it’s been a huge step and a massive event in my life.

Last year in L.A. county 150 out of 151 incumbents ran unopposed. And come on. They could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate. Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wing. Or – I’ll tell you what – you’re in L.A. Just pretend you’re considering Blake Lively for the job. Movie studios do that all the time.

I love Led Zeppelin, they were four prodigiously talented musicians. The magical combination of Jimmy Page and Robert Plant underpinned by the best rhythm section, John Paul Jones on bass and the best rock n’roll drummer in the world, John Bonham.

There are so many people who are trying to make it in the music business. It’s a very open business, more open I think than any other area of show business.

I don’t know how you explain Piers Morgan back to Americans now. I don’t think he ever intended for America to be his home, and there’s a difference between criticising the place you have come to call home and the place you have come to live in for a bit. Ideally, on the Venn diagram between myself and Piers there would be no overlap whatsoever, on either a personal or professional level. If we could be two non-interlocking circles I’d be fine with that. Any comparison with him makes me want to challenge you to a duel.