Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I’ve done it a thousand times.

War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.

The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

Do you wish people to think well of you? Don’t speak of yourself.

The little I know I owe to my ignorance.

Just because you like my stuff doesn’t mean I owe you anything.

Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!

Everything intelligent is so boring.

The present method of producing milk is too laborious. I believe that we can make milk by scientific process, eliminating the cow.

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

Let us not forget: I didn’t just wake up First Lady… I mean, I went to law school, I practised law, I worked for the city, I ran a nonprofit (and) I was an executive at a hospital. I’ve been in the world. I’ve worked in every sector, and you don’t do that without coming up against some stuff. You know, having your feelings hurt, having people say things about you that aren’t true… Life hits you, so over the course of living, you learn how to protect yourself in it. You learn to take in what you need and get rid of the stuff that’s clearly not true.

You gotta do what you love and really believe in it because that is your truth.

History doesn’t mean dates and wars and textbooks to me; it means the unconquerable pioneer spirit of man.

One of the hardest things for a parent to have to do is to tell your children that your other parent has died.

Drama and crisis are currency to them because they love the power to make people react. They thrive on a good fight, a good scandal, a good drama.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

I don’t read history. That’s in the past. I’m thinking of the future.