Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Already know you that which you need.

The ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.

Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

You cannot spend money in luxury without doing good to the poor. Nay, you do more good to them by spending it in luxury, than by giving it; for by spending it in luxury, you make them exert industry, whereas by giving it, you keep them idle.

There are many victories worse than a defeat.

I don’t do quagmires.

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.

Silence is the virtue of fools.

I think we foreshorten our own viewpoint if we consider any state of mind, or society, or government as final. Growth and change! We can’t get away from them.

Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence and nothing too much.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.