Mark Twain

Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

Lying rides upon debt’s back.

Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by makebelieve.

The truth is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. It sometimes causes us difficulties at home and abroad. It is sometimes used by our enemies in attempts to hurt us. But the American people are entitled to it, nonetheless.

History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.

Do not seek the truth, only cease to cherish your opinions.

It is more from carelessness about truth than from intentionally lying that there is so much falsehood in the world.

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth–anonymously and posthumously.

Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out.

The lawyer’s truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

I have such a high regard for the truth that I use it sparingly.

All truth is not to be told at all times.