Mark Twain

The Public is merely a multiplied “me”.

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot

Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.

Trees are among the most useful things grown.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Fate is being kind to me. Fate doesn’t want me to be too famous too young.

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the decision right.

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.

She had no need to ask why he had come. She knew as certainly as if he had told her that he was here to be where she was.

It’s just a matter of managing expectations. So for me, for example, you know, when your husband is President of the United States and you have children, something has got to give. I’ve made compromises in my life and my career, but I’ve also, in exchange, gained a wonderful platform to do some great work.

No matter how carefully and assiduously and how deeply you bury shit, the American public will find it and buy it in large quantity, It’s true, absolutely true.

My philosophy is to have a really good time and never to let anything stop me from doing what I want to do.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find how far one can go.

Listen to the birds and don’t hate nobody.

You say I started out with practically nothing, but that isn’t correct. We all start with all there is, it’s how we use it that makes things possible.

To be good is not enough; a man must be good for something.