The reason there weren’t any, I am surmising, is that a lot of Latin kids, Latino kids, in those days didn’t have the money to take those kind of classes.
I love “The Office”. I think it’s the funniest thing – Ricky Gervais is possibly the funniest person I’ve seen in my entire life.
If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’
I don’t like Tommy on Broadway at all. I like the music, I’m pleased with Pete’s success but I don’t like what they’ve done to it.
Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
Obviously, [Hollywood is lacking] stories from women of color. If you talk about areas of the industry that are underrepresented, that is an area that the whole industry could stand with getting better at.
A lot of times we talk about the politics of it, the unfairness of it, which is all true, but I think it’s clearer to people when you go, ‘Hey, that hurts my feelings.’
I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
Back in fifth grade, I was obsessed with Pokemon cards and Beanie Babies! My family and I would be online 4 am in the morning, just to get a new shipment of beanie babies.
I’ve really gotten into hip-hop again recently. I’m reliving my childhood. I’ve been listening to a lot of Wu-Tang Clan. I always wanted to be a rapper when I was younger. That’s always what I wanted to be before I started acting.
It’s good to get information and feedback from your fans on the Internet. But a lot of it is downright mean. There are three or four guys who say they’re Vince Neil and people come to the shows because these guys promise them tickets, and when there’s no tickets there, they get mad at the band. That kind of stuff bums me out.
Welcome to The Daily Show, I am John Oliver. And let’s just acknowledge for a moment that this is weird. This looks weird. It feels weird. It even sounds weird. It sounds weird to me and this is my actual voice.
I’m a woman now.
It takes a lot of time, commitment and a choice. I’ve chosen this path, but it’s not to say I’m not open to love or whatever comes my way. You never close doors.
I must say, as a point of pride, that I didn’t get the job because I was a woman. I got the job because Amy Poehler moved to New York with the Upright Citizens Brigade and I was the next best thing.
[on El Chapo interview] I have a terrible regret.
No matter what we say, entertainers are usually quite insecure, wobbly characters underneath, and maybe that bit of glory or that bit of expression or whatever it is compensates in some area.
I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will. That’s life on Planet Earth. And I’m okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there?
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, ‘I’ll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.’
A lot of kids join the army to get a college education. That’s why they do it, and they get sent into these horrible situations.
