Mark Twain

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything. That makes you smile.

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.

Science is always wrong, it never solves a problem without creating ten more.

Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition.

Every succeeding scientific discovery makes greater nonsense of old-time conceptions of sovereignty.

Human science fragments everything in order to understand it, kills everything in order to examine it.

Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories – those that don’t work, those that break down and those that get lost.

If you look at the history of our country over the last 100 years, there have been periods where science and research have been celebrated. They were really kind of held up as heroes in society, which encouraged a generation of people to go into these fields.

It’s really cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!

Science is properly more scrupulous than dogma. Dogma gives a charter to mistake, but the very breath of science is a contest with mistake, and must keep the conscience alive.

If I could snap my fingers and do one thing in science, I would get more funding for basic science. But the level of funding that needs to be done is not on the order of millions, like the cost of the Breakthrough Prizes. It’s billions to tens of billions.

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.

Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that it has reached its goal.

Science, after all, is only an expression for our ignorance of our own ignorance.

To expect that the intricacies of science will be pierced by a careless glance, or the eminences of fame ascended without labour, is to expect a peculiar privilege, a power denied to the rest of mankind; but to suppose that the maze is inscrutable to diligence, or the heights inaccessible to perseverance, is to submit tamely to the tyranny of fancy, and enchain the mind in voluntary shackles.