Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.

To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.

What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words – 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man – the biography of the man himself cannot be written.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Sometimes you get educated by being really bothered by things and you have to educate yourself on how to respond.

That man is best educated who knows the greatest number of things that are so, and who can do the greatest number of things to help and heal the world.

I would like to be a scholar in whatever I do, a scholar is never finished, he is always seeking and I am always seeking.

Do not neglect your life skills, which should include a healthy dose of financial education.

Many schools include a service project as part of their curriculum, and many corporations have in-house projects for their employees or give them time off to do volunteer work.

The function of this school is custodial. It’s here to keep these kids off the streets until the girls are big enough to get pregnant and the boys are old enough to go out and hold up a gas station.

The function of the university is not simply to teach bread-winning, or to furnish teachers for the public schools or to be a centre of polite society; it is, above all, to be the organ of that fine adjustment between real life and the growing knowledge of life, an adjustment which forms the secret of civilization.

All the learnin’ my father paid for was a bit o’ birch at one end and an alphabet at the other.

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

The rising costs of higher education coupled with the stress of paying student loans are putting increasing pressure on students.

I don’t care what their [Guns N’ Roses] record is. If you need a blood donor and the only person who can give you a transfusion is Hitler, you take the blood.

To learn, you have to listen. To improve, you have to try.

Knowledge without education is but armed injustice.

You can’t learn in school what the world is going to do next year.