Mark Twain

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Common sense needs to be more common.

Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.

I always live in some kind of anticipation of something good happening.

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

What I have never been afraid of is to be a little silly, and you can engage people that way!

Every man is entitled to make a darn fool of himself at least once in a lifetime.’ -Regarding Great War Peace Ship

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

Much depends on people knowing what opportunity means; it doesn’t mean a silver platter, it oftener means a spade. Self-help means something sterner than ‘help yourself’–reach over and take it.

You only live but once, and when your died your done, so let the good times roll.

I am not prejudiced in any way.

If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we’d be too simple to understand it.