Mark Twain

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.

The only meat I eat is from animals I’ve killed myself.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Together, we can help make sure that every family that walks into a restaurant can make an easy, healthy choice.

No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

I once made a (it was supposed to be a 30-minute) bean salad that took me like 6 hours

I go to McDonald’s every day. But I don’t eat much.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

American food is too dry! I need myself some proper Chinese soup like right now.

I don’t go long without eating. I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.

Preparing food is not just about yourself and others. It is about everything!

Trump Steaks, where are the steaks? Do we have steaks? We have Trump Steaks.