Samuel Butler

When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented.

Science, after all, is only an expression for our ignorance of our own ignorance.

When a man is in doubt about this or that in his writing, it will often guide him if he asks himself how it will tell a hundred years hence.

Youth is like spring, an over-praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.

The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

I don’t go long without eating. I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.

No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

I am vegetarian. I became one at 20 when I was working in a pig farm. I got attached to the pigs and I couldn’t stand the thought that they would have to go off to be slaughtered.

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.

Trump Steaks, where are the steaks? Do we have steaks? We have Trump Steaks.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

I once made a (it was supposed to be a 30-minute) bean salad that took me like 6 hours

The only meat I eat is from animals I’ve killed myself.

I go to McDonald’s every day. But I don’t eat much.

Preparing food is not just about yourself and others. It is about everything!

Chocolate makes everyone smile – even bankers.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

American food is too dry! I need myself some proper Chinese soup like right now.