Robin Williams

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, ’cause you can’t drink anymore. You can’t come home drunk and go, ‘Hey, here’s a little switch: Daddy’s gonna throw up on you!’

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”

Politics: ‘Poli’a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and “tics” meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

There are different audiences out there, and everyone has different tastes of what they want. And it’s a good thing because otherwise, there wouldn’t be enough stuff to go around.

I think the most embarrassing part of that was just the normal dancing. When the rock band comes. I think there was two days where the crew was like, “Just dance, just dance.”. So, you can’t, in a club or whatever…That was really awkward.

I just needed a job. Before being hired as an usher at the CBS Theater, I didn’t even know there was a show business.

When I’m alone, I can sleep crossways in bed without an argument.

If there are 10 people there, two or three are going to recognize you.

I think Kanye West is kind of in a perpetual state of being interviewed and he shares his thoughts constantly.

I’m the type to swallow my blood ‘fore I swallow my pride.

Being a Southern person and a blonde, it’s not a good combination. Immediately, when people meet you, they think of you as not being smart.

We are excited to partner with TEAM, RADD and NHTSA on this campaign, designed to raise awareness of two major safety issues – impaired driving and seatbelt use. Richard Petty Driving Experience provides the perfect venue for the campaign’s messages and incentives, particularly for reaching young men, who make up the highest risk group for motor vehicle crashes. The collaboration of our staff, NASCAR driver hosts and fans with the celebrities and dignitaries that represent the campaign at Richard Petty Driving Experience is exciting to see.

Any woman who diets all the time can’t help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.

In reality, the main thing that keeps me awake at night is probably the destruction of the planet; that’s what gets me pretty upset.

[on Trump] Many people are happy to see him in office. Some are voters who think he’ll bring jobs back and shake up Washington; others are happy simply because he isn’t Hillary Clinton, and others of course are Vladimir Putin and Scott Baio. But, for the rest of us, we are faced with the same questions as a guy that woke up the day after a Vegas bachelor party, deep in the desert, naked, tied to a cactus and a dead clown, namely: How the f**k did we get here? and What the f**k do we do now?

I don’t feel crazy any more! It was always like – it’s going to be one of two things, either i’m crazy or everybody else is.

My mother was a gypsy, and she had a lot of dark blood in her, and her hair was very, very thick – she couldn’t even get a brush through it. So I have been very fortunate. And every time I go to cut it off, hairdressers refuse to do it.

I can’t say I was. I wasn’t not a (Harry Porter) fan. I hadn’t read any of the books or anything. I read The Goblet of Fire when I was doing the other film, and I really liked that. I got through it in about two days. I’d say I’m a pretty big fan now.