William Penn

The receipts of cookery are swelled to a volume; but a good stomach excels them all.

Seek not to be Rich, but Happy. The one lies in Bags, the other in Content: which Wealth can never give.

If thou wouldst rule well, thou must rule for God; and to do that, thou must be ruled by him who has given to kings his grace to command themselves and their subjects, and to the people the grace to obey God and their kings.

To be a man’s own fool is bad enough, but the vain man is everybody’s.

The truest end of life is to know that life never ends.

A wise neuter joins with neither, but uses both as his honest interest leads him.

Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest.

It has to be a true partnership, and you have to really really like and respect the person you’re married to because it is a hard road.

By taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so happy as a married man, that he wishes to be so a second time.

What Michelle has done is to remind me every day of the virtues of order.

The greatest day of my life was the day I married Mrs. Ford.

[on Michelle] A dedicated mom, a good friend, and someone who’s not afraid to poke a little fun at herself from time to time

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

There is nothing so much seduces reason from vigilance as the thought of passing life with an amiable woman in marriage.

It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

My last divorce was in ’68. What made it come to a head was a promise. See, I had promised her that the next year I wouldn’t work as much. But then I got in trouble with the IRS, and I had to continue working just as much to pay the government. So she said I lied, which is something I never did.

In marriage do thou be wise: prefer the person before money, virtue before beauty, the mind before the body; then thou hast a wife, a friend, a companion, a second self.