Tina Fey

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. “You’re up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it’ll be between you and Barbara.” Don’t be fooled. You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

[on Ryan Phillippe] I’m lucky to find a person to share my life, and the best friend I’ll ever have.

[on being labeled the next big thing] I don’t take it seriously. Because I’m the one living my life. I mean, I’ve got this tiny part in this big Brad Pitt movie, and everyone here thinks I’m playing Sally to Brad Pitt’s Harry. I’m not, and I’m constantly having to say that.

What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.

I don’t want to wear high heels because I can’t run around with my son. So, for real life, I like to be in jeans and nice-cut shirts. I appreciate good tailoring.

If you were to really look at it, the boys are still getting more money for a lot of garbage, while the ladies are hustling and doing amazing work for less.

I think some fans want everything to stay they same because they want to stay the same.

I get more people approaching me about how good I was in ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ than being in Coldplay.

For anyone who feels the need to hate, just know I’m looking at my phone like #GirlBye!

Diamonds never leave you… men do!

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.

I don’t know how many millions of photographs have been taken of me.

I’m just chatty. But I do express my opinion.

As far as being in the spotlight and under public scrutiny, a lot of that’s about how much you put yourself out there. It’s not like we go to every premiere and every celebrity function and every charity auction. We really just try to maintain our privacy and never let our public persona get out of hand.

Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’