Tina Fey

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. ‘Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.

George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected to a three-person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

Amy Poehler made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives or girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not f**king care if you like it.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

Two Sundays don’t make a season. But if we keep it together, we are going to win a whole bunch of races this year.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Even though the album is an endangered species, can we try and make a coherent and good one, even if it’s like making a horse and cart at a Nascar conference?

There are stereotypes and it is quite amazing how often members of bands seem to follow those stereotypes. Singers are all vain. Guitarists are all vain but won’t admit it. Bass players are quiet people, and drummers are very exciting people to be with.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

I find Hollywood really toxic.

Everyone wants to be black so bad I wake up feeling so exclusive!

Cats know, comin’ out of four, they better be standin’ on it, else they’ll be standin’ in it.

Any single part of Brexit is a mountainous task and that is before you get to the tiny little bits that you understand that we haven’t even thought might be a problem. John Oliver

I don’t take myself that seriously. I’ve just had a good, big life. It’s a big one.

I’ve never done work for money, ever. If your choices are based on grosses and the film doesn’t do well, what does that mean? It leaves you with nothing.

I like to audition for good projects because if it’s a good project, it’s an opportunity to get in front of a casting director.

[on her parents] They’re very harsh critics and they’ve often said to me: “That was shit, you were crap’, but this is the first time (after he saw her as “Amy Foster” on Swept from the Sea) my father said to me: ‘I think one day you’ll be a good actress”!

(on his feuds with many of his fellow rappers) If they keep comin’ at me, I’ll just keep responding back until they don’t exist anymore. I got the time and energy to ruin what is left of their careers, if they want to do that.

The stuff I find attractive in women I always regret finding attractive. I always like a kind of madness in a woman… I like it when they hate me right from the beginning.