[about the showbiz lifestyle] It’s all too much trouble for me. It’s probably because I’m fat and lazy and old.
More quotes by Ricky Gervais
We’re still trying to break records on the twentieth anniversary of Live Aid. I’ve just heard Bob Geldof has put Phil Collins on a jet to Philadelphia. There’s nothing going on there, we just don’t want him around this year. No I’m joking, of course we didn’t put him on a jet. We stuck him in a catapult. To be fair, he didn’t get very far. Although it worked in rehearsals when we used it on Chris De Burgh. I could do a whole routine about injuring Phil f**king Collins.
[on animals] When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: ‘Good, you shouldn’t be in there’. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It’s the same with fox hunting. They’re just psychopaths. I think I’ll end up doing something with animals – running a sanctuary or something.
[On turning down the chance to appear in Ocean’s Twelve] Why say a couple of lines opposite Brad Pitt when I could be playing lead back home?
I’m a lot taller than I look on television and younger, and for the role of David Brent I wore a fat suit under my shirt and trousers. Really I’m about 25 and about 6′ 1 tall. So that’s probably why you don’t recognize me in the street.
I grew up watching fantastic mainstream comedies like ‘Porridge’ and ‘Rising Damp’. There are some mainstream things I love.
More quotes about Entertainment
I am very proud of the titles I have earned. However, the honorary title I have been given this year as chairman of the VA National Salute to Hospitalized Veterans program is one I accept with great humility and pride. I encourage all Americans to visit some true champions this Valentine’s week and find out how you can serve those who have served us so well.
I get more people approaching me about how good I was in ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ than being in Coldplay.
Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big. For the 100th time, I never mockeda disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him grovellingwhen he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. Just more very dishonest media!
I’ve been watching what I eat. When I was putting on all the weight, I was drinking Guinness and not eating. I didn’t have room to because I was drinking all the time.
You must not look into that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet. For today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.
Congress is like jazz – it’s really about the bills it’s not passing. It’s also like jazz in that most people hate it and anyone who says they don’t are lying.
It’s a lot harder to do an ensemble because your energy is going in so many different places, and you have to cover everybody. You have to sort of split your attention.
The stuff I find attractive in women I always regret finding attractive. I always like a kind of madness in a woman… I like it when they hate me right from the beginning.
I’m very outspoken. I will ask a silly question, but I really am deadly serious. I want to know the answer.