Rachel Weisz

I find Hollywood really toxic.

It’s also that comedians don’t have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They’re writers who perform their own material. It’s more interesting. And they’re sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.

If I’m just in dungarees, I don’t think I would intimidate anyone.

I have absolutely no empathy for camels. I didn’t care for being abused in the Middle East by those horrible, horrible, horrible creatures. They don’t like people. It’s not at all like the relationship between horses and humans.

I’m very wary of talking about statements. I’m a storyteller, I’m an actor, an entertainer.

I prefer being as far from the centre of celebrity as possible.

The memories of a man in his old age, are the deeds of a man in his prime.

[on getting the part of Cedric] I knew the casting director from another movie which I did, and they wanted to see me for this part, but I was doing another movie over the casting period, so I ended up seeing Mike Newell and Mary Selway and Fiona Weir – who were casting at the time – before anyone else was seen for casting. And then, I went to do this other movie, and then the day I came back… I got a call back and basically, that’s what happened.

[on Darren Aronofsky] I guess the first impression was that I’d been a big admirer of his work, and then I met someone who you’d never have put with that work. There was something very refreshing about that. I thought I was going to meet someone who was very intense and weird.

[On being told that he should be an agent with him having no acting ‘gifts’. And saying that you need to know absolutely nothing to be an agent.] I thought that’s the job for me.

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long we’re like Oprah and Gale. Only we’re not denying anything.

We all know what it feels like to be an outcast or a loner or to fall between the cracks. To be the target of gossip or people talking about you, or girls are ganging up on you. One minute, they’re your best friend; the next, they call you on three-way.

I’m not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy.

Well, I speak for my show only when I say we’re in debt to journalists because we’re just pulling clips all day long which they made in the first place. We know that a lot of people watching our show haven’t been watching the news as closely as we have – they haven’t been following hundreds of reporters on Twitter all day. So I guess our goal is to say: ‘Hey, here’s what happened today in 10 minutes, and hopefully we’ll tell you in a way that won’t make you throw your remote at the television’.

If I have to listen to one more grey faced man with a $2 hair cut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.

I’m just a big, hard tool.

I just want to make the best music of all time with my best friends.

I think that passion and love and pain are all bearable, and they go to make love beautiful.

You have to let people see what you wrote. It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring.

I love being able to say, I’m not American, I’m Trini. I think it gives me so much more depth.

Florida, just because you’re shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn’t mean you have to act that way.