Mark Twain

From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one – to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.

I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

We must annex those people. We can afflict them with our wise and beneficent government. We can introduce the novelty of thieves, all the way up from street-car pickpockets to municipal robbers and Government defaulters, and show them how amusing it is to arrest them and try them and then turn them loose – some for cash and some for political influence. We can make them ashamed of their simple and primitive justice. We can make that little bunch of sleepy islands the hottest corner on earth, and array it in the moral splendor of our high and holy civilization. Annexation is what the poor islanders need. Shall we to men benighted, the lamp of life deny?

The more I learn about people, the better I like my dog.

I think you’re running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, ‘Brace yourself honey, here I come!’

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Things that seemed simple and superfluous had some meaning, maybe it wasn’t a great meaning, it didn’t shake the world…

All I can do is be me, whoever that is.

People are never so likely to be wrong as when they are organized. And they never have so little freedom. Perhaps that is why the people at large keep their freedom. People can be manipulated only when they are organized.

I believe in 100% Theory and 100% Practice. Theory without practical application is futile.

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars.

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

By a museum, I assume you mean an institution dedicated to the events of Sept. 11 and the aftermath. If that is done with sensitivity, I think it would be most appropriate.

This is not new territory. Stop lights like lullabies write my eulogy.

Who we are now is all that really matters.

Life is neither old or new, ancient or modern, but simply more or less vivid-any song or musical composition will live that expresses or reproduces this vividness of life.-From this you will see that I believe that music fills a great place. The teaching of it goes far to restore the balance and richness of life, and-I might add- the unit of life also.

You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.