Mark Twain

It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.

I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

Wit and Humor – if any difference, it is in duration – lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage – the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

Principles aren’t of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

I don’t expect to retire. Every man must work, that’s his natural destiny.

If you’re interested in ‘balancing’ work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable.

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

I think it’s the way you sparkle when you talk about the things you love.

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability.

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

You have to know how to defend yourself.

The little I know I owe to my ignorance.

Sometimes it’s not enough to know what things mean, sometimes you have to know what things don’t mean.

People say time heals all wounds. Let me tell you, time heals nothing. You can do the wrong thing for 10 years and it doesn’t equal the right thing for one day.

There can be no lasting peace where hatred exists. Hatreds will continue to arise as long as the causes of war are not rooted out and exposed.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

Instinct is probably the essence of past experience and knowledge stored up for later use. There are many, you know, who think that this life journey through the world is not the first one we have made. Haven’t you ever come across children who knew things that it was impossible for them to have learned? Have you ever gone to a place for the first time and felt sure that you had been there before? That’s one of the reasons I do not travel much.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.