Mark Twain

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist’s custom.

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money’s sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal.That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.

Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.

Best friend, my well-spring in the wilderness!

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Haste makes Work which Caution prevents.

Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.

Children are all foreigners.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

If the announcer can produce the impression that he is a gentlemen, he may pronounce as he pleases.

All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

I think that people just have this core desire to express who they are. And I think that’s always existed.

The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

A man should be just cultured enough to be able to look with suspicion upon culture at first, not second hand.