Mark Twain

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money’s sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal.That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

If you have to eat a frog, don’t look at it for too long.

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.)

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.

Sometimes our idea of luxuries are our client’s ideas of necessities. You might think having a helicopter pad in the back garden, 20 housekeepers and two tennis coaches is over the top. But for them it’s like you buying a sandwich.

Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

Parents need to dial in and know what their kids are doing.

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

I choose you, again and again at the start and finish of every single day, no matter the season, no matter the age. I choose you to struggle and succeed with, to fight and wake up with, to love and grow old with. I choose you, knowing there are still trails we must travel, knowing there are mountains left to climb. I choose you to always be by my side.

People are used to being coddled.

Little difficulties are made to swell until they fill our horizon while the real big blessings of life are dwindled down to nothing.

You can do anything, but not everything.

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.