George Carlin

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed!

Jazz musicians are the only workers who will put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because its much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Hobbies cost money but interests are free

I like thinking big. I always have. To me it’s very simple: if you’re going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big. Most people think small, because most people are afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. And that gives people like me a great advantage.

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.

Your understanding of what you read and hear is, to a very large degree, determined by your vocabulary, so improve your vocabulary daily.

You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.

Procastination is not about not doing is about not doing and feeling crappy.

Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren’t criticized are those who don’t take risks.

It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the do’er, the achiever – the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.

Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient and the best things come to those who don’t give up.

Being productive gives people a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that loafing never can.

You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb.

Time well spent results in more money to spend, more money to save, and more time to vacation.

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.

Andy Andrews is the best speaker I have ever seen.

A productive employee who is kept busy working at his or her job is far more likely to be happy at that job and less likely to look for employment elsewhere.