Dorothy Parker

I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.

I have talked to Debbie Hammond quite a bit, Jim Hammond’s wife, his widow. I’ve seen their kids. And last time we played Dallas, a lot of them came over. It’s hard for them to come see the show. It’s still hard.

I can’t believe Tina Turner actually was on the same stage. I can’t believe I set foot on the same stage, and it’s going to be an album, people are going to buy it, and it’s going to be a video.

I personally really like getting a proper album with artwork and everything.

Working with people, the musical part is one thing but the personal part is totally different and just as critical. If the friendship is there and it’s a lasting friendship, then it will take care of itself.

Being a Southern person and a blonde, it’s not a good combination. Immediately, when people meet you, they think of you as not being smart.

Music is for every single person that walks the planet.

Well, I haven’t actually died “live” yet but I’ve been dead a few times. It’s strange, but it’s quite sort of relaxing. You feel like a bit of a therapist, because everyone’s giving you all their grief, and you’re just lying there listening. Yeah, it was quite nice, like no pressure after a couple weeks. I enjoyed it.

The goal is to try and make the perfect song. Which of course will never happen.

I have good health and I am happy to be on the road all the time.

On Jimmy Kimmel we had a great time having a dialogue. I’m reading that I was stumped by a question. Let me clarify the click bait. I wasn’t stumped. I wasn’t given a chance to answer the question.

I found that the more truthful and vulnerable I was, the more empowering it was for me.

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way.

[on turning down a role in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’] I didn’t really fancy sitting in a hotel room in Los Angeles for nine weeks for two minutes on screen, to be honest. I don’t really want to be an actor. I want to write and direct. I’ve been offered about ten British films. Obviously all shit. I was offered one with Johnny Depp, but again, it was a small character part, and I thought, ‘What’s the point?’ No one’s ever watched someone in seven films for one minute and said, ‘Yeah, give him his own film’…it doesn’t happen.”

Whenever I’m with you alone. You weave a magic spell and though it be a danger zone. I only know that you’re swell.

Well, I speak for my show only when I say we’re in debt to journalists because we’re just pulling clips all day long which they made in the first place. We know that a lot of people watching our show haven’t been watching the news as closely as we have – they haven’t been following hundreds of reporters on Twitter all day. So I guess our goal is to say: ‘Hey, here’s what happened today in 10 minutes, and hopefully we’ll tell you in a way that won’t make you throw your remote at the television’.