Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town?
Wit and Humor – if any difference, it is in duration – lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage – the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.
True irreverence is disrespect for another man’s god.
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
To succeed in life, you need to things: ignorance and confidence.
Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world – and never will.
Work like you dont need the money, love like youve never been hurt, and dance like nobody is watching.
It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
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