Mark Twain

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.

Life is a series of surprises and would not be worth taking or keeping if it were not.

If a man’s eye is on the Eternal, his intellect will grow.

You bring out the be(a)st in me. Polarized tension, a raw slash of claw, swathed softly in love. A peace of my mind in tumultuous chaotic razor-sharp clarity, impulsive wit to wisdom, mixing addictive shots of cocktail emotions in a full-spectrum experience.

Socialists think profits are a vice; I consider losses the real vice.

Any 20 year-old who isn’t a liberal doesn’t have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn’t a conservative doesn’t have a brain.

I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, ‘Verify your quotations.’

Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates.

A man must make his opportunity, as oft as find it.

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

The power of love, as the basis of a State, has never been tried.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

Commerce is a game of skill which everyone cannot play and few can play well.

For knowledge itself is power.

Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.