Mark Twain

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.

Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

This is no dress rehearsal.

I ask you to go back and read them over again, and this time answer “Self-acceptance was the foundation of the happiest time in your life and it was the engine that powered the train.

You are so much more than what people have done to you, and to let that define you, would be a tragedy.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

In order to succeed you must fail so you know what to do better the next time.

You know I don’t wanna come on ungrateful, but that warren report, you know as well as me, just didn’t make it. You know, like they might as well have asked some banana salesman from des moines, who was up in toronto on the big day, if he saw anyone around looking suspicious…

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

Every lie is a poison; there are no harmless lies. Only the truth is safe. Only the truth gives me consolation – it is the one unbreakable diamond.

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

I no longer feel the need of seeking out conscious Americanism. Because we live here and work here, we can be certain that when our music is mature it will also be American in quality.

Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

We are here for experience, and experience is a preparation to know the Truth when we meet it.

We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Period.