Mark Twain

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.

A patronizing disposition always has its meaner side.

If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.

The sky was the color of hard crimson, dripping down a canvas, the moon splashed silver across red. Her soothing balm healing my soul in swathes of calmness, I breathe in her tides and let my body be washed ashore, lying in the sands of eternity.

Nothing is pleasant that is not spiced with variety.

Being is the great explainer.

I believe in Michelangelo, Velasquez, and Rembrandt; in the might of design, the mystery of color, the redemption of all things by Beauty everlasting, and the message of Art that has made these hands blessed. Amen. Amen.

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

I would live to study, and not study to live.

One wanders to the left, another to the right. Both are equally in error, but, are seduced by different delusions.

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

Haste makes Work which Caution prevents.

He who has not the spirit of this age, has all the misery of it.

Train hard, turn up, run your best and the rest will take care of itself.

There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.

Where secrecy or mystery begins, vice or roguery is not far off.