Mark Twain

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse. He will go to any length for it-risk fortune, character, reputation, life itself.

We live in an era of tremendous facts. And the facts are facts. They are also unpleasant facts, which does not decrease their factual percentage one bit. Our job is to understand them, to recognize their presence, to learn if we can what they signify and not to fall into the error of minimizing facts because they have a bitter flavor.

No matter how flat you make a pancake, it’s still got two sides.

Stand up and walk out of your history.

It is one thing to show a man that he is in error, and another to put him in possesion of the truth.

I love life, but not everything in it. I love people, but not all of them. I love myself, but not everything about me.

There’s a part of me I can’t get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once, I’ll never be the same.

The difference between you and the person you envy, is that you settle for less.

Those unproductive hands … may consume so great a share … that all the frugality and good conduct of individuals may not be able to compensate … this violent and forced encroachment.

You’re only lonely if you’re not there for you.

No dog ever peed on a moving car.

Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.

There it is: it doesn’t make any difference who we are or what we are, there’s always somebody to look down on! somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about.

There is no script. Live your life. Soak it all in.

The most you get is what you ask for.