Zsa Zsa Gabor

There’s no better money to spend than your own.

One of my theories is that men love with their eyes; women love with their ears.

There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men’s advances as long as they are in cash.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex has more sense.

I pay all my own bills… I want to choose the man. I do not permit men to choose me.

What is really important for a woman, you know, even more than being beautiful or intelligent, is to be entertaining.

If it’s bad dialogue then I would think of nothing worse than the camera lingering on me and the person I’m talking to for fifteen minutes.

I feel like I’m always having to justify why I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from the old days in Stoke-on-Trent, but I’m like that with anybody. I don’t let anybody in. I just rely on myself.

If you don’t know what it is, don’t mess with it

I thought Laura’s record was going to be huge… It was not successful it sold something like 20 or 30,000 albums. Laura lacked a certain level of ambition and didn’t really want to do the things that people do to become known. So I thought I’d better get people to record these songs and make them hits so that people will see that she’s a great songwriter.

[on Stephen Merchant] He’s eight foot tall, has stupid glasses, awful hair, but it makes me look good, which is why he’s in the series. We look so strange on screen together as well. The height difference is ridiculous. I want people to know that he is a freak and I’m the normal one. Don’t look at this and go, ‘What? Didn’t know Ricky was a dwarf.’ I’m not. He’s the weird one.

When it comes down to it, I just like taking my pants down.

I haven’t had an interview in two years where I wasn’t asked about Bond!

This is so nice, it must be illegal.

I don’t know how you explain Piers Morgan back to Americans now. I don’t think he ever intended for America to be his home, and there’s a difference between criticising the place you have come to call home and the place you have come to live in for a bit. Ideally, on the Venn diagram between myself and Piers there would be no overlap whatsoever, on either a personal or professional level. If we could be two non-interlocking circles I’d be fine with that. Any comparison with him makes me want to challenge you to a duel.

I don’t see what the point is in growing up.

I grew up in Tennessee. We didn’t know what Louis Vuitton was. I had to order all my prom outfits out of catalogs.

I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

I have no enabler bone in my body – not one. I’m sort of like, ‘Oh, are you going crazy? I’ll be back in an hour.’

Old men do it better. We’re not so sensitive in certain areas.

I watch my contemporaries, and they love to live in the studio and I don’t. I have a life. I treat it as a 9-to-5. I try to create something new every day, and then I get on with my life.