Tina Fey

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I’m with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That’s basically how we’re doing it.

For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.

Girls are a distraction and can easily cost points.

The interesting thing about my character ‘Sylar’ is that my strengths as an actor seemed to go completely against the shape of a character in the shadows. I stepped into this character and then realized how much there was to play with.

I’m a big fan of ‘The Office’, both the British and the American versions.

So, uh, get ready for a barely changed version of Obamacare called Trumpcare, which sounds like a health care plan where doctors feel your breasts for lumps whether you ask them to or not.

Trump’s presidency is like one of his handshakes: it pulls you in whether you like it or not.

[after naked photos leaked] I want to apologise to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me. “I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends.

There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men’s advances as long as they are in cash.

Fame always brings loneliness. Success is as ice cold and lonely as the North Pole.

I see my role as a baby doctor helping people deliver their babies. I felt the same way in the music industry.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

He was at Richmond from the time I was a little boy. He was one of the originals in PR, in working with the drivers and the newspapers. He was one of the first to realize you don’t just stick up a sign and say we’re going to have a race Sunday. He went out, dug up PR and really got the job done. Any time we ran at Richmond, the place was always full.

I just want to make the best music of all time with my best friends.

That was me under the bath and the water being held down. The director wanted it to look as real as possible so he told Keanu, in front of me, don’t go easy on her. So it was scary.

Music is passionate. It’s love for me.