Joe Louis

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love!

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

The lack of money is the root of all evils.

Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.

What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Money is like muck, not good except it be spread.

Don’t matter how much money you got, there’s only two kinds of people: there’s saved people and there’s lost people.

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

If money be not they servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him.

Whoever thinks that money can’t buy happiness . . . just doesn’t know where to shop!

We are not the sum of our possessions.