Andy Kaufman

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.

What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go.

[on money] It cannot buy you happiness. Some independence, yes.

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it.

If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

Use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren’t allowed to be normal.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.

I have never been in a situation where having money made it worse.

The faster I make a lot of money, the faster I can have these kids I want.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles’ heel. But if you don’t need money and you don’t need fame, then you’re free.

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.

The lack of money is the root of all evils.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.