Mark Twain

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words… the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

The way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a noble animal? The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward-you will never get her full confidence again.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

All you need to be a success is ignorance and self confidence.

The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else…. If that need is not met by your family, trust me, your kids will go elsewhere to seek it in order to find approval and acceptance.

The best way is always the simplest. The attics of the world are cluttered up with complicated failures.

I’ve put up with more humiliation than I care to remember.

We do not know who we are until we see what we can do.

Die, but do not retreat.

To err is human, to forgive divine.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Now I’m a warrior.

When we are through, we shall have reproduced American life as lived; and that, I think is the best way of preserving at least a part of our history and tradition.

Foolproof systems don’t take into account the ingenuity of fools.

You have the duty and gift of living. You don’t have the right to sit on the sidelines–use your life and get back into the game.

These are our neighbours, our co-workers, friends’ children… the problem is closer than you think, but so is the solution.

They ask me how I love you and I say in pages, in novels, in volumes. I love you like my favorite story, the one that I wake up to every day and watch unfold. And I don’t know how it ends, but I know your name is already written in the chapters of my life that I have yet to live.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

History is more or less bunk.